At SMP Hawaii, we believe that love and connection are essential — but so is protecting yourself from scammers who exploit these emotions for financial gain. Romance and friendship scams are increasingly common, especially among kūpuna and those who are recently widowed or lonely.
These scammers often create fake online personas and spend weeks or months building trust before asking for money or sensitive information. The emotional and financial consequences can be devastating.
Here’s how to protect yourself or someone you love.
A romance scam occurs when a fraudster poses as a potential romantic partner online. They craft believable stories and personas, often using stolen photos and false identities. Once trust is built, they ask for money — usually with an emotional plea like a sick relative, travel emergency, or legal trouble.
According to the FTC, 70,000 people lost $1.3 billion to romance scams in 2022 alone, with a median loss of $4,400. Kūpuna are especially vulnerable due to isolation, trust in others, or unfamiliarity with online tactics.
They ask for money. The most common lie is a fake emergency: medical bills, jail, travel, or investment help.
They escalate quickly. They may say “I love you” or talk about marriage before even meeting in person.
They won’t meet in real life. They make excuses — military deployment, work on oil rigs, or travel restrictions.
They want to move the conversation. They ask to leave the dating app for messaging apps like WhatsApp or Telegram.
They offer investment tips. This can be a twist on the scam — tricking you into “investing” in crypto or other fake assets.
They ask for intimate photos. Then they threaten to share them unless you send money — a tactic called “sextortion”.
Limit personal info online. Don’t overshare on social media or dating apps.
Strengthen privacy settings. Only accept connection requests from people you know.
Do a reverse image search. Scammers often use stolen profile pictures.
Insist on video calls. Avoid relationships that never go beyond texting or email.
Never send money or personal info. This includes bank details, Social Security numbers, and credit card info.
Trust your gut. If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Talk to a trusted friend or family member.
Stop communication immediately.
Report the scammer to the platform (Facebook, Instagram, dating apps).
Contact your bank or payment provider to try to reverse the transaction.
File a report with the FTC (reportfraud.ftc.gov) and the FBI (ic3.gov).
Monitor your identity. If you shared personal info, consider placing a fraud alert or credit freeze with the credit bureaus.
If you or someone you know has been targeted by a romance or friendship scam, you are not alone. SMP Hawaii offers free, confidential support to help protect your finances, identity, and peace of mind.
📞 Call 1-800-296-9422
📧 Email info@smphawaii.org
🌐 Visit smphawaii.org
Stay informed. Stay strong. Together, we can protect Hawaii’s kūpuna from romance scams and emotional exploitation.
